Yard Sale Marketing Ninja Secrets


Hosting a yard sale is a lot of work. You go to all the trouble of dragging all the junk you no longer want out onto your driveway, and sitting there in the hot sun for hours, and sometimes you don’t even sell much. Which means, of course, that you then have to either drag all the junk back into the house, or load it into the car to take it to Goodwill.

To have a successful yard sale, you need some serious marketing help. Read on to learn the way of the yard sale ninja…

First, the Way of the Un-Ninja.

OK, the first principle of hosting a successful yard sale is to advertise the thing. Which is decidedly un-ninja-like. But we’d be remiss in telling you that if you just will the ninja gods to bless your yard sale, they will. You need to be a bit more proactive. So the first thing to do is design several yard sale signs that all coordinate.

Place signs in every major intersection near your home. Make sure to include your address: you want to be the rare visible ninja when advertising your sale. Then, place directional signage between those intersections and your home so that shoppers can find you. Once you’re got them in your lair, you can practice your mad ninja marketing skills on them, which of course, they won’t even see coming.

Artful Presentation Masks the True Nature of Inanimate Objects.

For those ninjas still working on their ancient wisdom sayings, this basically means: display your stuff in the right way and people won’t realize that it’s all the stuff you consider junk you no longer need or want.

Walmart is a great and powerful ninja in this regard. Have you ever walked into a Walmart store and not found something you thought you had to have? Most people couldn’t answer “no” to that question… even people who think that Walmart is working for dark and evil purposes. Walmart is great at displaying its products to make them seem attractive. You can do the same thing.

Make sure you have plenty of tables. Ninjas don’t get rid of their stuff by hoping that yard sale shoppers will paw through dozens of boxes thrown haphazardly onto the driveway. So, the more tables the better. Lay out your merchandise in a manner that is visually pleasing, and watch this ninja technique attract buyers.

To Understand the Universe, One Must First See Its Power.

Your customers might be asking some very deep, existential questions. Such as “Will this toaster meet my most intrinsic breakfast needs? Will it work for me?” It’s hard to tell, really. They can either sit on your lawn and meditate, or… you could provide them with an extension cord so they can plug it in and see its power.

If you’re selling something that’s broken, clearly state its condition with a little sign on the item. The bad karma associated with selling broken junk to unsuspecting civilians is not worth the $10 you’ll get for that busted vacuum.

Reveal the True Form and Shape of Every Thing.

Trying to sell that old tent? Set it up on the lawn. Otherwise, it’s just a mystery, folded up in a vinyl bag, sitting there covered in dust. There might be a deeper meaning to the idea of the mystery, but for your purposes, it’s best to set up the tent so that shoppers can see how cool it really is.

The same principle goes for everything you’re selling—if it requires assembly, you should assemble it. Bunk beds, gym equipment, rubber rafts, patio furniture… all should be properly assembled, inflated, or otherwise brought forth into their true form and shape in order to attract buyers.

Surround Yourself with Beauty and You Will Benefit Greatly.

Provide an atmosphere of calm and serenity at your yard sale. Or alternatively, develop a party-time vibe—even ninjas like to cut loose sometimes. In addition to being well-organized, your sale should be a place where shoppers want to linger. Play some music, provide some snacks (or put the kids to work selling lemonade and cookies). The more fun people have at your sale, the longer they’ll stay. And the longer they stay, the more they’ll buy. Which means less stuff for you to haul back into the house.

While the True Path Lies in Simplicity, Sometimes More is Better.

Have you ever pulled up to a yard sale, only to notice that the only items for sale are a few Tupperware containers from the 1980s and a pile of stained clothing? You probably kept driving, didn’t you?

If you want shoppers to actually get out of their cars and buy stuff, you need to actually have stuff to sell. If you don’t have enough material possessions that you no longer wish to keep, good for you! But if you want to sell those few things you do wish to part with, you might combine efforts with a neighbor (or a few neighbors) so that your front yard looks full of fabulous, can’t-miss treasures.

A Friendly Ninja is a Ninja With Time to Meditate

Sure, ninjas are all angsty and dangerous. But during your yard sale, you might do better to be a gregarious, friendly ninja. Say, “hello” to the people who show up to buy your junk. Talk to them, negotiate prices with them, and get them to carry off all that stuff… then you can spend the afternoon meditating and learning new ninja techniques, instead of hauling that junk to Goodwill.

A Life of Simplicity is… Impossible for Many American Ninjas

We’d like tell you to spend the next year avoiding the purchase of items you won’t want this time next summer. We’d like to introduce you to the concept of simplicity and the way of the non-materialistic ninja. But frankly, we don’t really think you can pull it off. So, go ahead… swing by the Walmart and fall prey to their ninja marketing ways. At least you’ll have the skills to ditch all that junk next year.