A good movie creates classic, timeless characters. Though the original Wizard of Oz was made back in 1939, today’s modern millenium kids still readily identify Dorothy, Tin Man, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, the Wicked Witch of the West and Oz himself.
Disney’s Oz The Great and Powerful premieres in theaters tomorrow, so we’ve been thinking a lot lately about Dorothy and her friends. We wondered… if we were stereotyped as one of the characters in Oz, which would we be? We won’t tell which we are… but we’ll let you take our quiz to identify your own personality.
1) The family room desperately needs to be vacuumed. You:
a) Pull the Dyson out and get busy; you can surprise your wife before she gets home from work!
b) Get out the Dyson and empty the canister, only to find that you can’t figure out how to attach it back onto the vacuum.
c) Panic. You hate the sound the vacuum cleaner makes; its howling noise sounds like the sucking of a vortex through which you’ll disappear, never to return. You back away from the family room and call your therapist from the safety of the kitchen.
d) Grab a soda, park your butt in the recliner and turn on the TV. That witch you married can vacuum when she gets home from work; you’d rather monkey around.
e) Call a cleaning service. Provide the ladies with directions every step of the way; proper vacuuming is a skill not to be taken lightly.
2) You’d like to plan a family vacation. What’s the first thing you do?
a) Hold a family meeting and get a consensus on the most popular destination. If no one can agree, simply plan four vacations so that everyone gets his heart’s desire.
b) Ask your teenaged son to get online and book reservations; you never have been able to figure out that Internet.
c) Look up fatality statistics for tourists. Hawaii’s nice, but you’re afraid to fly. Mexico is warm, but you’re worried you’ll get a parasite from drinking the water. Big cities are dangerous, but small towns lack adequate availability to state-of-the-art trauma centers. Perhaps just a nice trip to the local library. But not in a car (auto accidents kill thousands every year!)
d) Book yourself a trip to the Bahamas. The kids can jolly well get summer jobs and work for three months while you vacation.
e) Plan an extensive itinerary, scheduling every single minute of every day. You don’t need input from anyone else; you’re the head of the family, after all. And when it comes time to drive the rental car? It’s you behind the controls, all the way.
3) The neighbor’s dog just made a doodie on your lawn AGAIN. How to handle it?
a) Scoop up the dog doo and give Toto a pat on the head and the bone from last night’s roast. All of nature’s creatures deserve love.
b) Stare at the pile of dog poop and wonder how to remove it from the lawn without getting poo on your hands.
c) Do nothing. You’re terrified of dogs and if you go out on the front lawn, Toto might come back.
d) Send your flying monkeys to the neighbor’s house to teach him (and his nasty little dog) a lesson.
e) Call your city mayor and insist upon a new ordinance fining owners $1,000 if their dog poops in illegal venues.
4) You order a medium-well steak, but when it arrives it’s pink and bloody.
a) Eat it anyway; you don’t want to hurt the chef’s feelings.
b) Tell the waiter there’s been a mistake. When he says, “I’m sorry, sir… I thought you wanted a rare steak,” realize that it’s your lucky day! Not everyone gets the steak that’s valuable and hard to find.
c) Eat your baked potato and skip the steak altogether. You’re not about to eat undercooked meat (you can easily get salmonella, E.Coli or a host of other food-borne illnesses!).
d) Run screaming into the kitchen, shove the bloody steak in the chef’s face and demand a new hunk of meat. Or you’ll hurt his little hostess…
e) Stride importantly into the kitchen and elbow the chef out of the way so you can properly cook your steak to perfection. As you cook, insist that all kitchen staff pay attention so they might learn from your greatness.
5) You’re going to be short on rent this month. What do you do?
a) Call your friends and ask for a loan. You’ve helped them out so many times, they’ll rally around you. They put up a Facebook page, explaining your plight, and you get $50,000 in donations.
b) You sit down to figure out just how much you need to cover the rent, but you can’t remember how to use the complicated calculator. Your neighbor’s advice is to host a ‘fire sale’ on your front yard to earn some extra cash. But starting a fire sounds like a really bad idea.
c) Pack up and leave in the middle of the night. You’re afraid to tell your parents that you can’t cover your rent and you’ve heard that the landlord sends thugs out to teach delinquent renters a lesson. You can just live in your car.
d) Wait for the landlord to come around to collect the rent. When he gets to the door, grab up his little dog and threaten its life.
e) Hack into the database at the credit card company and borrow a few thousand from some unsuspecting cardholders. You’ve always been a genius at controlling things remotely.
So, Which Wizard of Oz Character Are You?
If you have mostly have a’s:
You’re the Tin Man. Tenderhearted and kind. Everyone likes you, even if you never want to go do anything fun when it’s rainy.
If you have mostly b’s:
You’re the Scarecrow. No one will accuse you of being the sharpest knife in the drawer (No, it has nothing to do with knives… we mean that you’re not a very smart guy). But you are quite entertaining and a pretty decent dancer.
If you have mostly c’s:
You’re the Cowardly Lion. You’re not about to do anything that will get you hurt or mess up that beautiful mane. But we know that when it really comes down to it, you’ll protect your loved ones with all the fierceness of the King of the Jungle.
If you have mostly d’s:
You’re the Wicked Witch of the West. Yeah, you’re a real witch. And while your underlings won’t say it to your face, when you’re deposed and a kinder dictator is put in your place, everyone will sing a happy song—one with some alliteration: ding, dong and dead.
If you have mostly e’s:
You’re the Great and Powerful Oz. Well, at least you think you’re powerful. But someday, someone’s going to peek behind that curtain. Take a cue from Oprah and start living an authentic life.