Top 10 Signs You’re Not a Celebrity

 

Top10You'reNotaCelebrity

The Sundance Film Festival brings lots of celebrities to Utah every winter: they brighten up the dreary winter here with their sparkling, larger-than-life selves. There are some big differences between us regular folk and the Beautiful People who congregate in Park City, though: $300 haircuts, $10,000 handbags and million dollar salaries, just to name a few. Rubbing elbows with these folks might make anyone feel a little subconscious, but we thought we’d point out all the signs you’re not a celebrity, just in case there’s any confusion.

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Celebrities don’t line up numerically at the gate before they board a plane. And they don’t have to pull out their debit cards to get a snack. They’re either sipping free champagne in first class, or napping on their own private jet.

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You have ‘em… they’re just buried underneath a few inches of flab. Taylor Lautner knows exactly where his abs are. So does every teenage girl on the planet.

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If you were a celebrity, you and your date would be inundated with autograph requests and hounded by paparazzi. Of course, celebrities don’t consider burgers at Carl’s Junior a big night out on the town.

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Sadly, Entertainment Tonight doesn’t want to talk to you at all.

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You can just pick up that little molded-plastic wading pool and dump it right out on the lawn. Celebrities have nice in-ground pools with waterfalls. And pool boys with abs.

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And he just wants to sell you more insurance.

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Because you didn’t have $153 million in assets, a private jet and three country homes to fight over. Also? You didn’t get $50,000 a month in alimony.

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The same size as the carriage house behind most celebrity homes.

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Well, it’s supposed to hold two cars. Really it holds one car and a bunch of crap you couldn’t fit in the house. Jay Leno’s garage holds more than 200 cars.

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Also the same teeth. And the same breasts (or lack thereof). You have a plethora of new wrinkles, though.

Nelson James

Nelson James is the chief operating officer of Signs.com and is responsible for the day-to-day operations of the company. Prior to joining the Signs.com team, Nelson was the president and co-founder of SEO.com. For over 6 years he helped to grow the company from 2 to over 85 employees. Nelson managed many large accounts during his tenure at SEO.com, including Dell.com. In early 2011, Nelson was recruited to Lendio Inc., where he was VP of marketing and was responsible for the creation and management of a marketing team as well as the strategy, tactics and programs to create interest and demand for Lendio’s products and services. Prior to his work experience, Nelson graduated Cum Laude from Brigham Young University in marketing and advertising from the communications department. Nelson lives in Lehi, Utah with his wife and three children. He currently holds leadership positions in scouting and volunteers in his church and community.