Top 10 Signs You’ll Never Work for Sterling Cooper Draper

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Sterling Cooper Draper: the world’s most famous ad agency on Madison Avenue. Wouldn’t you love to work there? We suspect it’s kind of like working for Google—you have to be super talented, really cool and incredibly lucky. Here are the top 10 signs you’ll never work for Sterling Cooper Draper.

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Or like an ad man. Have you ever noticed that every time Roger Sterling walks into an office, he goes straight to the wet bar and pours himself a drink? Doesn’t matter if it’s his office or not. If you think 9 am is too early for a vodka tonic, you’re not a good fit for the company.

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We’ve figured out since the late 1960s that smoking is bad for us. So if you’re one of the health-minded people that quit, or you never smoked in the first place, Sterling Cooper Draper isn’t the place for you (there’s all that second-hand smoke, too!).

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99% of the people who work at Sterling Cooper Draper are really, really hot. Don Draper. Roger Sterling (an old guy, but a fairly hot one). Joan Holloway. Peggy wasn’t really super hot—just super smart and talented. But look what happened to her. She went off to work for someone else.

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If you’re male and you don’t have a closet full of gorgeous suits, employment at Sterling Cooper Draper isn’t going to work out for you. Unless you’re a copywriter—then you can sport a shaggy beard and wear corduroy pants to work.

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The good folks at Sterling Cooper Draper aren’t too concerned with monogamy. This seems to actually work out for them—they either don’t get caught or they actually get ahead (remember how Joan became a partner last season?) This won’t work for you because you already have high standards. And if you didn’t, you’d most certainly get caught.

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The Mad men embrace everything about the Big Apple. But now that the show has entered the 1970s, it’s about to get a little bit…dicey. That flophouse Betty visited in the season premiere? Yeah, the city sort of filled up with those in the 70s and 80s. You might try a nice ad agency in Los Angeles, instead.

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Don Draper might be a scoundrel with plenty of life mistakes of his own, but he doesn’t forgive embezzlement. So if you like to have your hand in the company cookie jar, Sterling Cooper Draper is a bad place to be. Just look how it worked out for Lane Pryce.

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While you might get lucky like Peggy Olsen and get promoted to copywriter, don’t think for a minute that you’re going any higher. Peggy slaved away at SCD for years, working on her birthday and saving important accounts when Don screwed up. But when Michael comes along, he’s the golden boy. Peggy found that another agency would give her more money and a better title… maybe you should look around too.

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Being a Mad man is tiring work; that’s why you have a couch in your office. If you think napping at work is weird then you obviously don’t have Don Draper’s work ethic.

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Because it’s fictional. It doesn’t exist. If we have to actually tell you this, it’s clear that you’re probably not smart enough to work there anyway.

 

Nelson James

Nelson James is the chief operating officer of Signs.com and is responsible for the day-to-day operations of the company. Prior to joining the Signs.com team, Nelson was the president and co-founder of SEO.com. For over 6 years he helped to grow the company from 2 to over 85 employees. Nelson managed many large accounts during his tenure at SEO.com, including Dell.com. In early 2011, Nelson was recruited to Lendio Inc., where he was VP of marketing and was responsible for the creation and management of a marketing team as well as the strategy, tactics and programs to create interest and demand for Lendio’s products and services. Prior to his work experience, Nelson graduated Cum Laude from Brigham Young University in marketing and advertising from the communications department. Nelson lives in Lehi, Utah with his wife and three children. He currently holds leadership positions in scouting and volunteers in his church and community.