Top 10 Signs The Mayans Were Right

The Mayans Were RightDespite archaeologists’ continual reassurance that the Mayans didn’t really intend to forecast December 21, 2012 as the end of the world, we at aren’t so sure. In fact, we’ve come up with the Top 10 Signs The Mayans Were Right. So batten down the hatches, folks… the world could end any moment now.

The Mayans Were Right 1Every archaeologist worth his salt will tell you that a major sign of impending extinction is the loss of a main food source. Yup. We’re going down.

The Mayans Were Right 2Nothing says doom like the words, “fiscal cliff.” Apparently the entire United States government is going to grind to a halt and everything will simultaneously implode if the Repubs and Dems don’t make nice.

The Mayans Were Right 3Dick Clark died in April at the age of 82. He had a long, illustrious career and was especially noted for his production of Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. We’ve been ringing in the new year with Dick since the 70’s… the new year just can’t happen without him. So it won’t.

The Mayans Were Right 4Apparently we’ve ditched that whole idea of equality between the sexes and we’re supposed to be using special pens to write flowery cards, poems and love notes. The world had better end before we bring back girdles.

The Mayans Were Right 5The fact that there’s a woman out there named Snooki is bad enough. And, she’s famous. And she has procreated.

The Mayans Were Right 6And everyone knows that meteorologists are never wrong.

The Mayans Were Right 7There was a movie about this Mayan prediction thing way back in 2009. John Cusack had the whole thing figured out. Quick! To the arks!

The Mayans Were Right 8Bella and Edward are supposed to be together forever. Because they’re vampires, so they’ll live… forever. The fact that these fickle actors and their Twilight movie were top news is just another sign that the world is ending.

The Mayans Were Right 9There’s only so many new versions we can take before our heads explode. They say that earthquakes may have contributed to the extinction of dinosaurs. Well, the human race may meet its fate due to the breakdown of PCs everywhere. Luckily we can always Google, “How to fix my windows 8 operating system.” Which brings us to…

The Mayans Were Right 10Facebook has 1 billion users. Twitter has over 500 million. Even Pinterest claims around 11 million. Everyone is too busy liking, tweeting and pinning virtually to do any living in reality. Who needs the real world? We have cyberspace!