I often wonder how many people end up on our site by mistake. The word “Signs” does have more than one definition. Some people need signs in order to sell product, let people know about the existence of their businesses and point potential customers in the right direction. Other people who want to be pointed in the right direction might Google “Signs” for another purpose . . . one related to the alignment of planets and stars. Signs.com really only offers signs that stick to the first definition. But people might benefit from combining the two ideas.
Here we offer (a tongue-in-cheek) guide to help you determine what kind of sign design works best for you . . . based on your astrological sign.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
If you’re an Aries, astrologers note that you’re most likely adventurous and outgoing. So perhaps you’re looking for a new sign to advertise your sporting good store or hang-gliding business. You’ll want to use bright, vibrant colors. Aries don’t like to be constricted, so you probably won’t want to put a border around your design. Speaking of design . . . Aries tend to be very impulsive – the kind of people who do first, and think later. We strongly suggest that you avoid this tendency. Lay out your sign design. Save it. Go to lunch. Come back and get a second opinion.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Far be it from us to tell you that you need to update your signs, Taurus. Astrology wisdom says that you tend to be reluctant to change. So go ahead – keep those neon signs with the cursive fonts that no one can read. Of course, you also like financial security and we can tell you right now that if you design some better signs you might actually get some customers into your store. As a natural socializer, you can charm them instantly.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Hey Gemini! You’re one of our favorite customers. You’re adept at making money . . . and even better at spending it (quick – go to our website and find a few thousand dollars of signs to purchase!). When you design those signs, take your time. We know that you’re a multi-faceted person, but combining five fonts, seven images and nine colors on your sign isn’t the best idea. Hire a designer. You can afford one!
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Moody, moody Cancer. We hope you’re reading this on a good day. If so, design your sign with bright yellows and reds. Think happy thoughts about your customers and the warm, fuzzy feelings they’ll get as they see your new signage. If it’s a dark day for you, Cancer, then go ahead and indulge your moody self. Go yell at an employee, hang up on a customer or call your ex-girlfriend and remind her how wrong she was to break up with you. Just don’t order signs – black signs with stormy clouds and frowny-faces don’t tend to bring in new business.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Lovely, lovely Leo. We know that you love to have your ego stroked, so we’ll tell you this: you are the most charming, most intelligent, most beautiful customer on the planet. And we’re sure that whatever you design for your new signage, it will be stellar. Just like you.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Optimistic Virgo . . . we love your ability to find good in everything you see. And you’re the kind of person that enjoys helping everyone around you. Might we refer some of our customers to you? The sign-design challenged ones? With your highly creative mind, you could gently encourage them to ditch the Comic Sans font and tacky clip art. You can singlehandedly improve the world of signage!
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Consistent Libras love to achieve balance and are great at diplomacy. If you hire a designer for your signs, you’ll be able to use your artistic mind to determine whether the design is good or not. And if it’s not, you’ll be adept at avoiding conflict and getting everyone in the company to compromise to achieve the best outcome.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Passionate, powerful Scorpio. You’re the most powerful, successful sign of the zodiac. As such, we at Signs.com bow down before you. Design and order whatever you want. Your ability to survive no matter what the obstacle means that you’ll be a valued customer for the next millennium.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Slow down, Sagittarius. We love your warm enthusiasm for every new project you undertake . . . even your new signage. But you have to realize that we can’t create and ship your sign in the next 30 minutes; it’s just not possible. Try to hang in there – we’ll get those gorgeous new signs to you as quickly as we can.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Ambitious Capricorns are some of the most successful when it comes to business. Your desire for success, combined with your organizational skills make you a force to reckon with. We’d give you some advice about how to design your signs, but we’re sure you’ve already read our posts on The Right Font, Effectively Using Design Elements and 3 Tests When Developing Company Signage.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Intelligent and creative, you like to march to the beat of your own drum, Aquarius. So we assume you won’t be using any of our templates, but rather you’ll create a unique design all your own. You have tons of friends, so call some of them up (even better host a party!) to get some feedback about your new design.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pardon us, Pisces. We hate to drag you out of your fantasy world, but you really do need signage for your business. Your tendency to live in the realm of make-believe might keep you from seeing that no customers are in your store. On the other hand, you’re very gifted when it comes to art and design. So send us your resume . . . we’d love to hire you as a designer!
The author has absolutely no knowledge of the Zodiac or of astrological signs; the closest she’s come to such topics is when she read Homer’s The Odyssey in college. Unfortunately, the author’s boss at Signs.com would not allow her to contact psychics and astrology experts via their 900 numbers online and charge the calls to the business account. So this article is solely based on Internet research gleaned from a few (somewhat sketchy) websites. If you take the advice of the author regarding your signage design and it doesn’t work out well, Signs.com is not responsible. Just don’t tell the author. She’s a Leo and doesn’t take well to criticism.