A few weeks ago, we wrote about the Top 5 Last-Minute Vacations With Sign Cachet. But we’re aware that some of you haven’t taken a vacation for quite some time. How do you know when you’re overdue for a vacation? Here are the top 10 signs:
Time sure flies when you’re not having fun. Bill Clinton left office in January, 2001. If your last vacation includes memories of watching the President play the saxophone on the Arsenio Hall Show from your hotel television, it’s time for a vacation.
Does anyone even remember Arsenio Hall? Seriously. Get out of town already.
Unless your company holds corporate retreats on private islands, work travel doesn’t count as vacation. If your itinerary includes things such as “Annual Report Meeting” and “Team-Building Exercises,” it’s not a vacation. Leave the briefcase home and go somewhere where there’s no cell service.
Taking the Boy Scouts on a twenty-mile hike and campout isn’t a vacation. Unless your idea of a great vacation includes eating burnt hot dogs, listening to fart jokes and sleeping on the hard ground inside a tent that smells like feet.
Did you know that you can wear a bathing suit while actually having fun? You can even wear one if you don’t intend to get wet! Go somewhere with a beach. Put on your bathing suit. Then read a book, sip a margarita, or even have a nap. Heavenly.
Working on projects around the house is a great way to increase your property value and makes your wife happy. But you know what she’d like even more than having a shiny new garden hose reel mounted on the side of the garage? A vacation! Take her to an exotic location and spend two weeks without using any power tools.
If you haven’t been in an airport since September 2001, you might not be aware that you have to remove your shoes, belt, jewelry and jacket. And place your laptop in a separate bin. And then be scanned by a machine that can (almost) see you naked. And put all your lotions, makeup, etc in little tiny bottles. It’s a pain, it’s true . . . but totally worth it if you can be on a beach relaxing just five hours later.
People take vacations so that they can live life without stress for a few weeks. If it’s been a long time since your last vacation, you might find that stress is making you a miserable jerk. If you come home from work and yell at the kids, fight with your spouse and kick the dog . . . it’s time for a vacation.
So you’re the office martyr. The one who takes over everyone else’s duties while they go on vacation. The one who keeps his nose to the grindstone. The one without the summer tan. Your co-workers aren’t impressed. They’re worried that you’re going to lose it one day and run through the office naked, screaming incoherently and threatening them with a stapler.
Between driving to and from work, taking the kids to piano lessons, buying groceries and running mundane errands, you spend a lot of time in the car. And unless you’re driving that hot new Aston Martin Virage, you’re not really having a lot of fun. On top of that, every year around 40,000 Americans die in car crashes. All the more reason to find a resort where you can just loaf around under a beach umbrella for a week or two.